Adultery By Paulo Coelho
‘Adultery’ is the reflection of thoughts what every adult, in this generation of millennials, is going through.
And Paulo has explained this very well through the fictional character Linda, who in spite of having a perfect life (loving, successful, rich husband and two lovely kids, and a successful career as a journalist) which is envied by any woman her age, was unhappy. I would say she was not content, her mind was not at peace, she used to have extremities of thoughts and today I think this is the problem of every second or third person in the millennial generation.
She thought her life has become monotonous a boredom and maybe that could be the reason of her unhappiness so to get excitement in her life, she started seeking adventures new challenges; and she ended up having adultery with her long last high school boyfriend. She herself was not sure if it was love or if she was looking for an adventure; she wanted to take a risk and was seeking something different from her routine life.
But later as the story unfolds itself as she started understanding her thoughts, she realized she was lonely. It was ‘loneliness’. Brain says all is well, the soul is lost n confused.
It’s very well explained in the book how you wake up with a smile on your face and a word of encouragement because no one can explain their loneliness to others as it’s humiliating to say you are lonely you need company. You need to kill that monster that everyone thinks is as imaginary as a fairy-tale dragon, but it isn’t. You do things which you don’t usually do, daring to go beyond what is fair and necessary. And during this you isolate yourselves even more. You suffer from insomnia, emptiness, apathy but you insist yourself saying this is just a rough patch or depression because you are afraid to use the real and damning word: loneliness.
There was nothing actually missing from her life. She accepted she is suffering from a broken heart.
And broken-heart is not necessary has to happen when you broke up with your life partner but it can happen without any reason too. You can start feeling that way any moment of your life and that’s when you start feeling lonely.
And during this, self-help books, actually lead nowhere. They have an immediate effect, but that effect stops as soon as the book is closed. They are mere words describing an ideal world that doesn’t exist.
And, the more you try to repress your feelings more you will fall into the trap of physical or mental illness. Many illnesses many habits are the result of these repressed emotions. And that’s when you start to fall into the trap of drugs, anti-depressants, extra-marital affairs, adultery; as written above you dare to go beyond what is fair and necessary.
Adultery doesn’t mean that the couple’s relationship is not doing well. Nor does it mean sex is the primary motive. It has more to do with boredom, lack of passion for life, with a shortage of challenges. It’s a combination of factors.
So, don’t be afraid of loneliness, afraid of deluding yourself. Looking at reality the way you would like it to be and not how it really is.
The most important lesson is learning to love. Because living is loving. True love can revive you from anything. And this true love doesn’t have to be for your partner, it can be for your pet, for anyone.
It’s the moments of true love which justify your sole existence because they give you the strength to keep going and bring joy to your days- no matter how much you try to bring sorrow.
It’s the love that changes us not time nor wisdom or experience. Your love for life is more powerful than anything.
And at last, the story about Psyche(our unconscious but logical side) and Eros(love), and how they are together forever is a very good example which states that when we try to find an explanation for magical and mysterious human relationships, we miss the best part of life i.e. love.
Extracts from the book which I liked the most:
“We don’t want to disappoint anyone; we have great need to be loved, so we smoother the best in us by practicing self-control, trying to keep the monster from coming out of his hiding place. Gradually, the light of our dreams turns into monster of nightmares. They become things not done, possibilities not lived. And every person has that monster inside of them. And people who express these dualities are termed to suffer from ‘manic depressive psychosis’ or as we say ‘bipolar disorder’.
Let yourself get carried away;Go all the way.
In the game of chess, you have to make the next move, you can’t stop in the middle, coz that means accepting defeat, There comes a time when defeat is inevitable, you may get checkmate but at least you fought until the end.
We all have everything we need. There is nothing to improve. So, thinking you are good or bad, fair or unfair, all that is non-sense. So go ahead and let yourself go. There is no point suggesting what you should do what you should not as this you will realize it yourself. Light in your soul is greater than the darkness. But for this you must go all the way to the end of the game.”
“Fear is contagious. Constant fear of never finding someone to accompany us to the end of our days, we are capable of doing anything, including accepting the wrong person and convincing ourselves that he or she is the one who God has placed in our path. And then in very little time, search for security turn into heartfelt love, things become less bitter and difficult. We put aside our feelings in a box where they remain forever hidden and invisible.”
“When things don’t end clearly, they always leave a door open, an unexplored possibility, a chance that everything might go back to being as it was before. It’s totally one choice to be in this situation or not.”
The lines which I liked the most are:
‘Curiosity is greater than hate.’
‘Love also wants results.’
‘Sin is followed by a fear of being caught.’
Rating: 3/5